I wish you were here so bad. I can barely breathe. I hate waking up from a nightmare with no one to hold me. When I finally woke up, I couldn’t move at first, it was like there was something heavy on my chest, so I took a deep breath and I felt to see what was holding me down, but it was nothing - only sleep paralysis. I kept shoving at the nothing and debated whether I should scream. I did not. I want you here to hold my hand and tell me it’s okay until I fall back asleep and am quiet until the morning. Reasons why I can’t be alone: all of the reasons.

Maybe I shouldn’t go to bed when I’m stressed. I had bad thoughts before I fell asleep.